The Fullmetal Alchemist and Mr Edward
by Shooting Star Sky Saint
Summary: "Man is not truly one, but two." Edward is no exception to the rule. Full summary inside on chapter 7.
1. Chapter 1: The Night that They Loathe

**Full Summary: Having been slipped in experimental serum into his drink, Edward Elric now has a different side to him… a more dangerous and lethal side. But now that side of him is out of control and causing mayhem around Central, leaving a bloody path behind Edward. Now it's up to Roy and Al to figure out an antidote to solve Ed's strange problem while also dodging the infamous, alter ego of Ed himself… Mr. Sirius Constable Edward! Will Ed survive? Or will Mr. Edward take permanent control over him? Was there a conspiracy behind all this?**

**Whoopie! I'm about to start a new story when I still haven't finished my old ones! Well, I'm going to finish them of course! Anyways, this story is somewhat like the famous Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, except for a few things that I'm going to twist around. As you might've already known Edward is the main character and is suffering… as usual. **

**Anyways! Enjoy reading, review at the end and tell me if I should continue this story.**

**Fma does not belong to me! I own nothing in here! Except for that random girl!**

**Enjoy!**

**The Fullmetal Alchemist and Mr. Edward **

Night had fallen in Central City. The skies were as dark as the other side of the moon and the streets were as quiet as a silent trap. The streetlights were lit and showed a medium tolerant lighting for the sidewalk, where a young teenage girl was walking. "Ugh, damn him. I'm so late, my mom's going to have a cow and probably bitch until kingdom come." The teenage girl grumbled as she adjusted her purse around her shoulder, "If I haven't told him once, I've told him twice not to be so rough. And now I'll be late coming home because of his-"

The girl stopped talking when a tall shadowed figure came out an alleyway and stood three feet in front of her. "Hello girlie." The figure hissed with a sneer on his face. The figure was wearing a neat black suit with a long, fashionable back coat to match. Black men shoes covered his feet, a black cane was held in his hand, a dark, blue bow was tied to his suit and a black top hat was sitting on the top of his head. Overall, he looked like a nobleman.

"Who the hell are you?" the girl asked with a scowl.

"Oh! Where are my manners, allow me to introduce myself." The man took hold of his top hat, put it to his chest and bowed lightly revealing long midnight black hair. "I am Sirius Constable Edward, but you may call me Mr. Edward." The man's face lifted and showed his distorted features; the girl flinched as his face became known to her. That twisted sneer that was plastered on his face revealed his sharp, yellow fangs; his shocking, inhuman golden eyes buried into the girl and implanted fear from another world. Above his golden eyes was a pair of fuzzy black eyebrows that seemed more like caterpillars then eyebrows. He stood up straight and put his top hat back on, "And what is your name madam?"

"None of your freaking business, that's what it is." The girl hissed, she started to walk past the stranger but was stopped by his arm that wrapped around her. She gasped as Mr. Edward's hand clasped around her neck and started to squeeze tightly.

"Ah, you can't leave just yet madam." He growled, baring his fangs in a smirk style. "We have yet to have fun," removing his arm from around her, he dug into his coat pocket and pulled out a sharp dagger. "I'm going to give you a choice, would you like me to do this my knife or hands?"

"T-T-To d-do w-what…?" the girl gasped struggling for air.

"Hands or knife?" Mr. Edward repeated. "Or I'll choose for you."

The girl shivered but finally made a choice, "H-Hands…" The stranger's smirk grew larger.

"Very well then." He said in a delightful tone. Quickly she pushed her onto the ground, restrained her hands from any further use, and shoved a piece of cloth into her mouth. To keep her from screaming no doubt. The girl cried out as tears streamed down her face but the cloth positioned in her mouth muffled her cries. "This won't take long, my dear." Mr. Edward assured her, "But I can't promise you that this won't hurt." The sneer on his face grew even larger for his face to catch up to. He released one of his hands and put it to her face, the hand caressed across her smooth, red cheek and eventually found its way into her hair. The hand flowed down to her eyes and covered her right one; the fingers twirled around her right eye in a circular motion and then pressed down on it. As Mr. Edward's smile grew twisted and sadistic, his fingers squeezed onto the eyeball and yanked it out. The girl thrashed with pain and unleashed a muffled scream. Blood spluttered from the empty socket and flowed down her face, erasing all traces of tears with crimson colors. The nobleman wasted no time; he shoved the eye into his pocket and proceeded onto her left eyeball. The colors of this girl's eyes were just so beautiful, they were a deep hazel that seemed to brighten any other color of a rainbow. He would be sure to keep this girl's eyes in his collection for safe keeping, they were too rare too just simply dispose of.

Mr. Edward yanked out the other eye, all the while saying, "Gouge, gouge." While humming a familiar tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, his fingernails were caked in the new scent of blood that stained under his nails. He licked the blood with his snake like tongue and trembled, it was so unbelievably good. He stopped humming and got off of the crying girl, well, she was crying blood as far as he could see. He walked over to the now blind girl and casually said, "Goodnight." He pulled back his foot and kicked her on the side of her head, automatically knocking her unconscious and silencing her muffled screams. He smirked one last time and walked back into the alleyway. He got out the hazel eyes and juggled them as if they were dice, they truly were beautiful. Those hazel eyes stared at him with absolute frozen anger and fear, and it delighted the nobleman to see such an emotion forever captured in the eyes. He continued to juggle them as a thrilling chill went up his spine, the smile returned as a horrific melody escaped his lips:

_One two, Eddie's coming for you_

_ Three four, better lock your door_

_ Five six, grab an alchemist_

_ Seven eight, going to stay up late_

_ Nine ten, you'll never sleep again_

Ah, the words brought great joy to Mr. Edward's cold, invisible heart. He was beginning to wander if Central was ready to take what he was about to do… well, if they weren't then that's bad for them. Since he will be the one to drench this town in cold blood. "Oh how wonderful the scenery is here!" he cheered to himself, twirling his cane around, "I think I'm going to like this town but it'll need some reorganization if I'll ever feel comfortable," he stopped walking for a second and looked up at the bright full moon, "Ah its nights like these when I just feel like getting out, don't you think so," his lips curled into a sadistic smile as one name escaped his lips, "_Edward?"_

…

Edward Elric woke up with a jolt of pain striking his flesh right arm. He sat up immediately in his bed and regretted it; a dizzy spell ambushed him as flashes of colorful lights blotched his vision. The spell dispersed as well as the lights and Ed groaned in displeasure, his eyes slowly turned to the small white kitten that was clawing at his arm. Ed sighed; he reached for the kitten, grabbed it and put it back on the floor. The kitten hissed at Ed and in response Edward stuck his tongue out at it. He had told Al a thousand times not to let the kitten in his room, its not that he didn't like Snowball, the kitten, or anything, it was just that she kept on bothering him to the point of annoyance. Edward yawned and lifted his hand to his mouth to cover the yawn, when suddenly he flinched as a repulsive stench caught in his nose. Ed followed the scent to his hand and put it in front of his nose. He sniffed a few times to identify the smell and shuddered when he recognized it.

"Why do I smell blood on my hands?" he asked to himself and no one in particular.

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	2. Chapter 2: Countful Visitation

"Nice to see you awake, Ed." Al snickered as he saw his brother stumble down the steps with his military uniform on. Edward looked tiredly at Al and then raised his arm, revealing in his hand the small, white kitten and scratch marks. Al sighed. "She didn't-"

"Al." Edward simply said, silencing the younger Elric, "This cat hates me and I don't know why." He mumbled, clearly still half asleep, "But for once, just for _one night_, can you please…" Then taking in a deep breath and pointing to a kennel in the corner, Edward shouted, "**Keep it in the kennel!**"

Al sighed but smiled. "Ed, you know I can't do that. She doesn't mean to wake you up so early, honestly, she just really likes you."

Ed once again showed him the marks on his arms and fumed. "If she likes me then she wouldn't do this to me every freaking morning!" The older Elric calmed himself down and put down the thrashing kitten. Snowball walked away from him and to the side of Al, she brushed herself against the younger Elric and purred. "See?" Edward scoffed.

Al blushed with embarrassment. "Al, I have to work overtime today so I'll be home late." Ed yawned as he grabbed his coat and began heading towards the door. "Don't let that cat in my room." Snowball hissed at him.

"Alright, brother." Al smiled, "Have a good day."

"You too, Al." Edward said as he walked out the door but not before saying, "You too, Fur ball." Snowball turned away from the blond and hissed. With a laugh, Ed left.

…

It was a regular rainy day in Central, nothing special nothing new. At least that would be the case if not for another attack on another citizen. On his walk to Central HQ, Ed came across a blocked off area on the sidewalk, naturally curiosity got to him and the blond went to check it out. There was a crowd around the crime scene making him blend in with everyone else, and that's where he heard the gossip spread.

"I heard that a girl got killed here."

"That's not true, her eyes were gouged out."

"Did she survive?"

"I think I heard someone say that she bled to death… but I'm not sure."

"Who would do that to a girl?"

"A sadistic bastard, that's who."

"…" Edward frowned, Central really was in hard times right now. Not only was Amestris on the brink of war… again, but also a crazed murderer was running loose around Central. Whoever was killing these people never left evidence, which was hard for Ed to believe since every human has to leave some kind of fingerprint or hair… then that's when he thought that maybe it wasn't a human responsible for the killings…

_A homunculus, maybe? _Ed thought, but then he remembered that all of the homunculi were dead, save for Pride but he was still under the impression that he was the real Selim Bradley. _Something else then? _Possibly…

Ed looked down at his watch and gasped, he was going to be late at this point! Pushing past the crowds, Ed began running. In truth he didn't care about being late but he just didn't want to hear Mustang's smug voice about saying how late he was or how he never turned in any of his reports or just saying how much of a midget he was, even though he was nearly as tall as the General…

Either way, the list could go on forever….

…

Jogging through the hallways of Central HQ, Ed sharply turned the corner and ran into General Mustang's office panting. "Late as always, Fullmetal." Roy sighed, not bothering to look up from his paper to see the blond.

Edward straightened up his back and huffed. "Smug as always, General." He retorted.

"No jokes today, Fullmetal, another accident has occurred down the street and for once, the victim is alive." Roy said, his voice stern and deep. "I need you to go visit the victim with Lt. Hawkeye. The victim's name is Terry Hollister, age 16 and a minor, here's her address and her current condition." He said, handing the blond a file.

Ed took hold of the file and opened it; inside there was the address of the girl's house. He flipped through the pages and gasped, towards the end of the file was a picture of the girl lying on the ground with blood oozing down her empty eye sockets. "You're assigning me with the lieutenant?" Ed asked, trying to sound decent although his sight was stuck on the picture.

"As backup, what I need you to do is talk to the girl. Ask her questions about who did this to her."

"In other words, interrogation?" Ed scoffed.

"Exactly. But remember that this girl is probably traumatized so… be easy on her." Roy then added, "And the lieutenant's already there so you'll get no ride."

Sighing, Ed finally closed the file and walked out of the office, feeling somehow disgusted with the picture that was etched into his vision.

…

It wasn't a very long walk, the girl's house was only three blocks away from HQ and when he got there he found Riza Hawkeye waiting out on the sidewalk. "Nice to see you've finally arrived, Edward." She said.

"Nice to see you too, lieutenant." Edward mumbled, tiredness suddenly hitting him like a truck. "So, this is the house?"

"Yep, I've already talked with the mom about this and she said it was fine, her daughter too, I was only out here waiting for you."

"Alright then, let's go." Ed said as he went to the front door, opened it and walked in. the house seemed a bit gloomy upon entrance but pretty normal. A couple of family portraits here and there, a piano and a dining room. "In here, Ed." He heard Hawkeye instruct as he followed her.

Ed suspected that they walked into the living room because there, sitting at a table, was a young teenage girl with bandages around her eyes and her mom standing over her. Ed frowned and walked over to a seat next to the girl, Riza stood over him and in her hands was a notepad, to take down important notes no doubt. Ed took in the girl's features and finally spoke, "Your name is Terry, right?"

The girl nodded. "Okay Terry, my name is Edward, you can call me Ed if you want." The girl suddenly cringed and began shivering, Ed saw this and carefully asked, "Is something wrong?"

"…same…" She quietly said, her mother putting one hand on her shoulder.

"Same? Same what?" Ed asked.

"You have… the same name as him…" She stuttered.

Ed flinched. "As who?"

"That man… the man who did this to me…" She finished, taking in a shaky breath, "Except he said his name was… Sirius Constable Edward…"

"He told you his name?" Ed hysterically asked and the girl nodded.

"… I know what he looks like too…"

"Really now?" Ed asked with an eyebrow raised.

"He… looks like a nobleman… dressed up like one… with a cane and all… he looks pretty young and has gol-"

"Wait, wait, before we get to the big details I need to know something very important." Ed suddenly interrupted, his voice turning slightly amusing. "What did he say to you?"

"… what do you mean?"

"His voice, his accent, what did it sound like?"

"… I-I- I don't know…" The girl admitted, "He sounded nice, respectful…"

"Ah, okay then." Ed said, a smile tugging at the corners of his cheek. "How did it feel?" Hawkeye cringed, why was Edward asking these types of questions?

"… How did… what feel?"

"Oh you know, to be in that situation, to be in the presence of a murderer…" The smile finally revealed itself but quickly turned into a vicious smirk, "_To have your eyes gouged?_"

The girl began to tremble uncontrollably. Ed could hear the chair she was sitting in begin to rattle against the wooden floors. "Edward!" Riza hissed in his ear, "That isn't the type of questions you should ask."

Ed ignored her and kept talking, "At least you're still alive, I mean, other victims were found dead. Their bodies torn to pieces, stuffed, mutilated, stabbed, you name it. Yep, you came out a lucky girl to be left alive, bleeding on the sidewalk but alive."

"EDWARD!" Riza hissed, a voice gaining volume.

"Mr. Edward, please!" The mother cried out.

Then that's when the girl screamed and began sobbing. Her mother started to comfort her, trying to get her daughter to calm down. Ed remained smirking his eyes transfixed on the girl, and then he leaned in closer to her and said quietly, "_Have you learned a lesson, my dear?"_

The girl stopped instantly and froze up; she didn't move for a bit then unexpectingly fainted.

Ed looked down at the girl in her crying mother's arms and snickered unnoticed by Hawkeye. The lieutenant was busy apologizing to the mother while Ed took in a sharp gasp of hair. He bent over and blinked, recognition returning in his eyes. "W-What happened?" He asked to no one in particular.

**A special thanks to:**

**Ash**

**Sadpg2011**

**Shadow Curse**

**Beaniek4**

**For being the first people to review this story! I do apologize for taking so long to update though! I'm terribly sorry for being late!**

**Anyways, thank you all for being patient with me and I'll try to update quicker next time! Thank you and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Dark Beginning

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!" Shouted a livid Mustang as Edward cringed at the volume in Roy's voice. "NOT ONLY DID YOU MANAGE TO LOSE OUR ONLY CONNECTION TO THE SERIAL KILLER BUT YOU ALSO MANAGED TO PUT THE GIRL INTO A COMA!" Ed felt bad about this as much as the General, but he couldn't even _remember _what he did. Nonetheless, the poor girl was now in the hospital stuck in a coma caused by stressful traumatization that Ed had supposingly caused, at least that's what Lieutenant Hawkeye told him – no, _shouted _at him. He had never seen the Lieutenant that angry until today and he could easily tell anyone that she's not a pretty sight to be around when angry… "FULLMETAL!"

Ed snapped out of his thoughts. "Um, yes sir!" He quickly said.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" The General's voice came out slow but dangerous, signifying his anger and impatience over the current situation.

Ed thought about the question and scanned over Roy's anger. Putting two and two together, he came up with the conclusion to not take too long when answering. Lest he end up standing in Roy's office listening to him yell for the rest of the afternoon. The alchemist sighed and slowly said, "I-I don't remember…"

"You don't remember what?" Roy barked.

"I don't remember ever saying anything to that girl, except for asking her what her name was." Seeing Roy's turned scowl, Ed quickly continued, "I'm telling the truth! I didn't say any of that stuff that the Lieutenant told me I did!"

"Fullmetal-"

"General, I honestly didn't do anything!"

"_Fullmetal-_"

"I can hardly even recall-"

"Edward!" The blond fell silent instantly. The general leaned back in his seat a bit and narrowed his eyes towards the blond, the atmosphere changed along with the new mood in the office. Dangerously focused and breath taking. Roy's mouth opened and his cold deep voice came flowing out, "Lieutenant Hawkeye heard what you said, Terry's _mother _heard what you said and frankly, you're damn well lucky that she's not going to sue you for causing her daughter to go into a coma." Greif and guilt awakened within Ed, had he really caused a girl to go into a coma? "I don't know what came over you but scaring a young girl is not the way to interrogate. I warned you that she was traumatized and yet you…" Roy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm suspending your state alchemist certification."

That instantly caught Ed's attention. "What?" Ed practically yelled.

"You heard me, Fullmetal." Roy sternly said. "After this, I think you need a long break and maybe after that you've had cleaned up your attitude."

"B-But General, I don't have time to be laid off! I have bills to pay on the house, Al's school tuition, not to mention I have to get that stupid cat its vaccine shots! I need to work to get my pay!" Ed hysterically said.

"Not my problem." Roy sighed, "You should've thought about that before you put a young girl in a coma."

"No… please General." Against all his stubborn beliefs, Ed had to plead. He had to beg to the man who constantly made jokes about him but gave him his daily paycheck. "Please, I'm sorry alright! But I can't afford to not work!"

"That's enough, Ed." Roy said then thought for a moment, "You can come back in a week but for now, you have to leave." Just as Ed was about to open his mouth, Roy intervened and said, "Leave immediately because now I have to clean up the mess you made."

"Mustang please, don't do this." Ed stuttered.

"My decision is final. Now, hand over your watch." Hesitantly, Ed reached into his pocket and took out his silver pocket watch. _No, no he can't do this! _Ed furiously thought as he walked to the General's desk and placed his pocket watch down. _He can't do this!_ "Leave Edward, it's starting to get dark and with that serial killer on the loose, I'd hardly want you to cause another mess that I would have to clean."

Ed growled at Roy's comment. His hands clenched at his sides and golden eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, yet Edward just turned his back to the General and walked out, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him.

…

"Brother! You're late!" Al said as he saw Ed come in through the front door. "Where have you been?"

"None of your business, _Mother." _Ed scoffed with a smirk. He sighed and heard Al make a frustrated grunt as he walked past him. He looked down at his feet momentarily and saw a ball of white fur cuddle up close to his feet, Ed sighed but smiled softly. Bending down, he picked up the kitten, held him close to his face and chuckled, "_Now _you're acting friendly with me." Snowball purred and mewed. Ed laughed and put down the kitten, "I'm going to bed early tonight, Al."

"What?" Al scoffed, "But I cooked dinner for you! It's your favorite!"

"Now you're sounding like you're my wife." Ed sneered.

"Ed!"

"Goodnight, dear." Laughed Edward as he walked upstairs and into his room. He shut the door behind him and huffed, nothing was going well. He'd been… slightly fired from his job – without getting his paycheck – he had put a young girl in a hospital for a reason that he couldn't even _remember, _and now he had a massive headache. Groaning, the blond sat down on his bed and rubbed his temples, the stress was really starting to get to him. He had no money, no job, no-

_Meow?_

Ed lifted his head to find Snowball looking up at him with wondrous, cautious eyes. "What are you looking at?" Ed groaned, his head was really throbbing. The kitten didn't move from its spot, instead she looked on at the older Elric. "What? Did All forget to feed you or some-" Suddenly, a spike of pain shot through Ed's body. He quickly stifled a scream and groaned even louder. This wasn't what he needed, it was already enough that he lost his job but to also have phantom pains was a whole other thing.

The blond rose from his bed and clutched his sides, feeling the agony coarse its way up and down his body. He took in hard raspy breaths as beads of sweat started to pour down the side of his face. "Goddamn you, Mustang." Hissed Edward as he clutched his head, "Damn him to hell." Straightening up a bit, the blond alchemist looked to the mirror that hung from the wall and got a good look at himself. His hair was sprawled in almost every direction and light black circles were seen around his eyes, no doubt from lack of sleep but his posture, how he looked, it disgusted him. Snarling, Ed walked to the mirror, raised his fist and smashed it to pieces. He ignored the new pain in his cut knuckles and gasped wildly, greedily taking in the air around.

Snowball watched on. She saw the Elric bend over his desk, still taking in harsh breaths, with his body trembling terribly. "Damn him… damn them all…" she heard him snarl, "They don't understand, none of them understand!" Snowball flinched at his outburst but remained still. Ed's body began shaking even harder; his voice was becoming strained even to Snowball's ears. "I'll have to…" The kitten stood up and cautiously walked to the trembling Elric, "I'll…" She mewed lightly and finally got a glimpse of his face, his features truly had changed dramatically. A crooked smile rose on his pale skin, revealing sharp yellow fangs as startling golden eyes snapped open ad looked down at the shivering kitten.

"_I'll bloody kill them all._" It wasn't Ed's voice. It was too deep, too malicious, too demonic, this wasn't the Edward Elric that Snowball knew and hated at times. This man was… darker…

"Ed! Are you okay up there!" Shouted Al from downstairs.

The man snickered, opened his mouth and responded in Ed's voice, "Ya, I'm okay Al!" He heard the younger Elric shout a response but he was no longer paying attention. His lips curled once again into a wicked smile as he looked down at the kitten, picked it up, and purred, "I'm baaaack…" Snowball mewed as Mr. Edward's hand caressed across her soft fur, making her a bit uneasy. "And this time, an example is in need for General Jackass to learn not to mess with me…"

**Author's Note: ****Oh my gosh! I've said this on all of my newest updates but I am so sorry for not updating! My mom broke my laptop and I had to wait to get a new one, I would've updated at school but my schoolwork comes before fanfics… but still, I'm sorry! And I'm sorry for the crappy ending to this chapter… but I'm trying to update all of my stories so please have patience for me! D: Anyways, though I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. It's not my usual style to end it like this but given the circumstances…**

** And speaking of reviews… WOW I didn't expect to have that many over the last chapter O.O but I love it :D So…**

**I thank:**

**Ash**

**Beaniek4**

**FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom**

**The red panda alchemist**

**Thelastunicorn**

**Random acts**

**Bezawesome**

**Raeford**

**For reviewing the last chapter! You all give me great motivation for saying all those kind words! If anyone has any questions just PM me or ask in your review! Thank you all!**


	4. Chapter 4: Affiliations With The Dark

**I wont hold you all back. Enjoy!**

"Who's the cute little kitty! Who's the cute little kitty! You are! Oh yes you are!" Cooed Mister Edward as he rubbed harder on Snowball's belly. The cat purred and mewed softly as she enjoyed the treatment she was getting from the serial killer. "You're such a spoiled little kitten, taking up all the attention and whatnot." Snowball meowed in agreement unknowingly making Mr. Edward to chuckle.

Suddenly, he stopped rubbing her and placed her softly on Ed's bed. He turned back around into the shattered mirror and groaned. "Oh no, this wont do." He said to himself while walking over to Ed's closet. "If I'm going out tonight I'm going to need to look… notable." He searched through the clothes and found exactly what he wanted. Stripping Ed's clothes off of him, Mr. Edward quickly put on his new attire and looked himself over in the mirror.

"Yes. This will do quite nicely." He mused. He was wearing his signature outfit but with a little change to it. His usual black tuxedo sported a black tie and coat that blended in perfectly with his shining black shoes. In his right hand he carried a different kind of cane, on the top was a silver skull that seemed to sparkle demonically with it blood red gem eyes. Just as Mr. Edward finished pulling his back into a ponytail, he placed his signature black top hat upon him and put on his white gloves. He truly did look like a gentleman – a well-groomed, honest gentleman who would put an angel to shame. But he was nowhere near honest. No – he was sneakier than the Cheshire Cat, more cunning than a demon, and if looks could kill then someone would be in Hell right now.

"Tell me, Snowball," Asked Mr. Edward, "how do I look?"

_Meoooow. _Snowball grinned while licking her paw.

"Ah, I knew I looked spectacular. After all I have to for tonight." Smirked the serial killer as he opened up a window and prepared to jump. "If I'm going to invite people to Mustang's little party, I must look presentable."

And with that, he leaped. Leaving the small white kitten to curl up and fall asleep in Edward's bed.

…

In the middle of the night, a couple was walking down the sidewalks and enjoying their conversation.

"And then he said "hey don't blame me, I just dangle"!" Laughed the older man.

His date scoffed with disgust and spat, "Smith, you're a pig."

"What? Aw come on baby!" Cheered the man, clearly showing that he was drunk. "I'm the number one man you'll ever find on these streets!"

"Ah. But there's always me." Said a voice from behind the couple. The man and woman both turned around and met the stunning golden eyes of a well-dressed young man. "Of course, a beautiful woman such as yourself shouldn't have to lower herself to the rank of this man."

The young woman giggled and blushed while the older man fumed at the obvious insult. "You lookin' for trouble, you little fucker?" Yelled the man as he stomped towards the young man. He got in the nobleman's face and spat furiously, "Because where I come from, men don't interfere in another man's business."

Mr. Edward chuckled and smiled sweetly, showing off his yellow fangs that caused the older man to step back in disgust. "Actually sir, I was just wondering if you and your lovely lady would like to come to this party." He then added, "It's for a very special friend of mine."

"No. Now leave us the hell alone." The man hissed. He viciously grabbed his date's hand and began to walk off.

"Oh. But then maybe you could help with the decorations!" Shouted Mr. Edward. The couple stopped in their tracks and the man turned around with a balled fist visible. "Yah. I think you two could help me deeply with decorations."

"Listen hear you little piece of shit." Growled the man as he began to rant again. "We don't want you-"

The man gawked. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen and fell to his knees screaming in agony. The older woman's mouth dropped open and her hand flew to her face, her mouth stayed open but her voice didn't come out, instead she backed away slowly and fell on the ground panting wildly while her date's blood oozed down the pavement.

Mr. Edward sighed, he walked around the withering body and dropped the knife from his hand. "My dear darling, let's not make this harder on you," he said with a sweet yet dangerous smile on his face. "All I need are decorations and quite frankly," The blonde bent down and leaned in closer to the scared young woman. He pinched her cheek and pulled her face towards his, forcibly smashing his lips against hers. The woman groaned and screamed in his mouth, she thrashed in his grip but found that he was too strong for her to overcome.

After what seemed to be an eternity, the woman finally was able to breathe when he let her go, but her relief was short lived. She felt something in her mouth – a taste of some sort… metallic and rich in iron. It leaked from the corners of her mouth and rolled down her chin, that was when she realized she was choking on her own blood. The older woman attempted to scream but found that only a strangled gagging sound left her throat. Her eyes scattered wildly around, catching a glimpse of her date's convulsing body, then darting back up to the man who stood above her. Fearfully, she couldn't tear her eyes away from him, she saw him grinning maniacally down at her while something hung from between his fangs.

_What?_ She couldn't form a complete thought. She only watched with as much focus as she could manage at what the serial killer was now chewing on.

It was at that moment that she had noticed the excruciating pain in her mouth. Her hand darted to her mouth as another inhuman gurgle escaped her, she didn't stare away from the man, instead she took in every dangerous feature. Every terrifying second that she watched him devour her tongue.

She gasped and wheezed wildly while hearing a dangerous hiss come from the young man above her.

"_Quite frankly, my dear, you're a treat…_"

He raised his cane, licked the blood from the corners of his lips, and swung at the girl, knocking her unconscious and immobile.

"Oh yes, you two will do just fine."

…

_Mew…?_

Ed's eyes fluttered open, he frustratingly took in the morning light and the confused face of everyone's favorite kitten. His eyebrow rose when Snowball leaned into his face and licked his nose, why and how did she get in his bed? Again!

Edward dropped his eyes lazily and yawned in the kitten's face. Snowball groaned and flustered her nose with her paw while hissing dangerously at the blonde alchemist. Ed just now realized his mistake and widened his eyes in an almost apologetic way, he smiled shakily and laughed.

"Hey… Snowball, I know what you're thinking but-"

_Too late bro_. He could've sworn that's what she said when she leapt on Ed's face and began the morning chaos.

…

Al shook his head in confusion. He thought long and hard about why Ed was acting so… out of character last night. Usually he would come home after work and stuff his face with Al's cooking but this time he went straight to his room and went to bed.

Sighing, Al split his concentration between making breakfast and investigating his brother's behavior. He grabbed hold of three eggs and cracked down to business, he thought for a moment that Ed really would be just tired but that did and strangely at the same time _didn't _sound like him. Furrowing his brow, Al sighed and stirred the yolks with haste in his frying pan.

It was so agonizingly frustrating how much he was worrying about this minor change in his brother. Sure it caught his attention but Al didn't think that he would go into such depths of thinking to find out why, although it did bother him that Ed didn't even take a look at dinner last night. Al had put so much work into the meal, and just for Ed nonetheless, and he just walks away and leaves him to clean! He had put everything – wait, Ed was right, he was beginning to sound like a wife. A housewife to be exact.

Groaning, Al grabbed hold of a carton of milk and pinched the bridge between his eyes. Maybe it had something to do with work. General Mustang has been taunting him a bit more recent-

"GODDAMN CRAZY CAT!"

Ah. Right on time, Al thought with a woeful smile on his face.

"GET OFF OF ME! OW! OW!"

Al was beginning to wonder if Snowball was just bipolar. It seemed that she was always either liking Ed or hating him.

"FUCK! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

This would probably be over in less then ten seconds, then Ed would come walking down the stairs with Snowball in his hand and complaining that he never keeps her in a kennel.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY! OWOWOW! KITTY LITTER! I'LL GIVE YOU KITTY LITTER!"

Strange, she was acting more aggressive then usual, must have something to do with her hormones… or maybe she's in heat… Al grinned to himself and sighed. He really should read more books about cats…

"…"

Oh, silence. That means only one thing. Al prepared himself for his brother's rage but couldn't help but keep the smile on his face. He heard footsteps and looked to the stairway, "Good morning, Ed."

Al took in his brother's scowling, fully awake face that was now masked in scratches and small slices of blood. Indeed, Ed was carrying a furious Snowball by the neck which actually surprised Al. By instinct, the younger Elric ran to his brother and scooped Snowball into his hands.

"Ed! You know that's not how you carry her!" Al said while rubbing her head, she seemed dazed and angrier than usual. "What's wrong, Snowball?"

"Al." The younger blonde flinched, here it comes. "I feel amazing this morning." He said this with an innocent smile. "I feel so amazing that I'm not going to work today, instead I'm going to spend all day with you and Snowball…" He leaned in closer to the kitten, a death glare gleaming in his eyes. "Oh yes, we're going to have loads of _fun_."

_Too shay bro, too shay_. Snowball growled in agreement.

"You're not going to work? Why?" Al asked.

"Well, funny you should ask," Said Ed with a shaky smile. "General Jackass actually-"

At that moment, the phone rang. Ed walked over to it and picked it up. "Hello?" He paused and quickly yanked the phone away from his ear. Forcibly bringing the phone back, Ed said, "General what… no I… hey, calm down bastard I didn't… no, no I didn't see anything… wait? What?... oh really?" A sly smirk tugged at the corners of Ed's lips. "Oh but you suspended me, I couldn't possibly… hmm, maybe. That sounds interesting… of course I'll be right there, sir."

Hanging up the phone, Ed laughed hysterically and started upstairs. In a few minutes he was back downstairs in his military uniform with a confident sneer plastered on his face.

"I thought you weren't going to work?" Asked Al.

"Urgent business calls." Ed chuckled.

"Mind if I come?"

"… um, sure, I don't mind."

_Meow?_

"No, you can't come." Ed hissed.

…

Ed and Al walked into Central HQ and pushed past military officers to get to Mustang's office. General Mustang sounded horrified over the phone, almost scared if Ed had to guess, but still… to call him meant that whatever situation was happening it must be important.

The two brothers stopped once they saw that General Mustang was actually _outside _his office with a very complex expression on his face. Ed read over his superior's face once he got closer, there was something was off about him – he was, if he was seeing right, twitching with anxiety. "General," Ed started, "I'm-"

"No introductions. I need you to see this." The General hushed him and looked back to Al. "This may be too graphic for you Alphonse, you can stay out here with the Lieutenant if you'd like."

Al shook his head. Sighing, Mustang slowly opened the door to his office and allowed Ed and Al to walk in. Once the Elric brothers entered the room, they immediately faced the full brunt of a horrendous scent. The smell danced around their space and into their noses, prompting Al to step back but Ed did not falter. Instead he took in everything that he saw with a horror stricken expression on his face.

The first thing that Ed and Al saw was the long, wet entrails hanging from the ceiling. Red rain dripped from the intestines and painted the floor, terrifying enough the entrails looked to be decorated like streamers at a party. Two hollow body that had their skeletons pushed out of them lied in the middle with colorful balloons tied to the ribcages. Al had already stepped out of the room, having taken in too much of the horrid scent but Ed had stayed and continued to engulf himself in the horror.

Ed took a few steps forward and noticed two objects on Mustang's desk. He looked closer and noticed that they were heads. Decapitated, mutilated heads. Both of the faces were smiling beyond human limits with their mouths wide open, revealing that all their teeth were yanked out and gums were hanging with pasted blood. The woman and man heads were painted like clowns but their eyes were missing, leaving black soulless, hollow pits of darkness.

Edward looked up and noticed that there was writing on the walls and windows. Looking closer, he noticed that it was written in… blood.

"_**Happy FUCKING Birthday General!**_"

He blinked once then twice, then finally he fell to his knees and hurled, releasing the contents in his stomach. He gagged and coughed, this place… this was… this was so…

"Edward, are you okay?" Hawkeye asked.

_Repulsive_. "Yah, yah I'm okay." He didn't even realize the maddening smirk on his face that twitched with every drop of blood that fell from the streamers.

**Updating status= Epic fail! I'll actually try to update quicker next time!**

**Oh and WOW 0.0 AGAIN! So many reviews… I didn't even expect this… all I can say is THANK YOU. You all give me the determination to continue this story and make it interesting! I'm so glad that you all love to read this so, well, thank you!**

**Here are my thanks to:**

**FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom**

**The red panda alchemist**

**Wolpy**

**Random Acts**

**Guitargurl 99**

**Koneko Hoshi**

**Thelastunicorn**

**Ash**

**xxDangerousPiexx**

**beaniek4**

**Tim the Llama and Aoi-sama**

**Your comments were very funny and entertaining to read :D Until next time, I'm out!**


	5. Chapter 5: Cloud Nine

**Haven't forgotten the story :) just have been updating others... **

**FMA does not belong to me!**

**ENJOY! (There's a special A/N at the end of this chapter)**

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><p>It wasn't until an hour later did General Mustang decided to have a talk with Edward. He spent one entire hour asking three-fourths of the majority of soldiers and workers if they had seen anyone or anything suspicious last night because God knows Mustang's office wasn't caked with gore when he left for home last night.<p>

"What do _you _want?" Edward spat, rubbing Al's back softly with his hand. Ed looked on at his writhing brother with self-hatred. Why had he brought Al along? He shouldn't have allowed Al to come but really – _really_, Ed just thought that the old fart would submit himself to him (Ed's way of saying 'apology') yet, there was no way that Ed could've predicated such… carnage.

General Mustang narrowed his eyes at Edward. "I just need to ask you some questions."

"Like what? I haven't been here since the night you suspended me!" Ed retorted with obvious hate.

"And now I'm reinstating you until this investigation is complete," Mustang looked on as he watched Ed's scowl lighten up a bit. "Now, my questions… did you see anyone suspicious when you walked out of HQ last night?"

Ed shook his head, his gaze never leaving Roy's.

"What about on the street? Anyone or anything?"

Ed shook and answered a hardly auditable 'no'. His flesh hand trembled on top of Al's shaking body. Oh God, he shouldn't have brought Al. This wasn't the place for someone like him… his little brother – even if they were defined as adults – would always be looked after for by Edward and no one else.

"Where were you last night, Fullmetal?"

"In bed," Ed mused with a fake sob, "sleeping with depression and a PMSing cat because you cut off my pay."

"I'm giving you your position back," Roy smirked and leaned closer to Ed, "but of course, your actions _will _be watched by not only me but everyone on my squad."

"Fuck you, I'm not your dog."

"Actually, you are. A dog of the military and I just happen to have to _tighten _my leash on you."

Ed grumbled under his breath, "I'll stain your drapes."

"_Then I'd better house train you_." Ed blinked at Roy. Somehow, what the general just said sounded too serious to be a joke.

Edward shrugged and scoffed, "What do you want me to do about this?"

"As of right now, nothing. My men will continue their investigation within and outside Headquarters, bur for now," Roy motioned to Al, "you and Al are free to go home." Did Ed just sense a shred of humanity inside of the general? Wow.

Edward blinked rapidly but did not take Roy's sudden release for granted; he gently pushed Al to his feet and scooted him slowly towards the exit. Roy watched as the two brothers walked out of his line of sight, for the time being, and pinched the bridge between his eyes.

Roy heaved a sigh and turned frustratingly to his tattered and crime scene office. By tomorrow, this mess would be clean and all evidence will be found and locked away for investigation, but still… Roy could not shake off the Devil that clenched to his back. He had once again proved to be useless in stopping this maniacal killer, but even worse, two civilians – at least he hoped it was only two – were mutilated and used as fucking streamers for this lunatic's twisted idea for a warning message.

Roy knew not to blame himself but he still couldn't shake the guilt off of his persona. The General clenched his fists and felt a hand close around his shoulder.

"General," Roy turned his attention to the voice, "we've found nothing suspicious so far, except for one key detail…"

Roy raised an eyebrow.

"That fact that I'm here when I should be at home with my darling Felicia!"

General Mustang sighed. "I said you were free to go before the Elric's came you know."

Hughes laughed, "Eh, I'm just messing with you but really," Hughes suddenly whispered into Roy's ear, "why'd you let them go? Edward could have been of great assistance to this investigation, especially sense he's already witnessed what this killer does to his victims."

"…" Roy opened his mouth to reply, "He's too unstable at the moment. You know what he did to-"

Hughes suddenly poked Roy's cheek. "You can stop pretending that you're Fuhrer in front of me," he said, "if you don't then you'll turn sour and hard."

"…"

After seconds of silence, General Mustang turned on his heels and met up with Lt. Havoc about any details. He left Hughes alone for the rest of the day.

* * *

><p>Edward mentally cursed every word within the Amestrian, Xingese, Drachman, and Clairdastian dictionary that he knew. He really hated himself right now.<p>

Ed's mind involuntarily went back to the image of his little brother in bed, trembling under layers of blankets with his eyes closed and twitching. Ed had pressed his lips to Al's forehead and felt his skin burn and steam over. His brother had become bedridden with fever but no doubt did Ed already know the cause of Al's sudden affliction.

As Edward hoisted himself over the couch, he noticed a small white ball of fur sleeping on the floor. Ed furrowed his brows and heaved a sigh of defeat; he pulled himself off the couch and onto the floor.

Snowball immediately noticed the older Elric's presence and stood up fast on all four of her paws. Ed did not respond to Snowball's alertness but instead held his hands out in front of her. Snowball blinked and raised her paw to her nose; she vaguely gazed at Ed's open palms then looked up at him.

Edward gave Snowball a small grin and watched with amusement as Snowball flicked Ed's hands with her paws. She sniffed him and waved her tail in the air, switching her gaze from Edward then to the two flesh hands in front of her. Mildly, she pressed one of her paws into Ed's palm then swiftly looked up at him. The alchemist did not falter but said in a very low voice, "Either get in or get off, Snowball."

The kitten pressed another paw into his hand then another and before she knew it, Snowball was being lifted into the air and carried in Ed's warm but rough hands. She looked up at him, only getting a view of his well defined chin, then eased herself into his warmth.

Snowball closed her eyes then opened them to find herself in darkness. She started to panic when Ed began to lower her. The kitten hissed but was cut off by Ed who hissed back at her.

"_Shhh_… Al's asleep."

Snowball hissed even louder.

"I'll take away your litter box if you don't shut it~"

Snowball twitched her nose in irritation. Suddenly, the warmth beneath her vanished and was replaced by soft cushions as gentle as cloud nine. She focused her eyes on the sleeping mass right beside her and purred warmly, delighted at seeing a friendly face. She pressed against Al's hand and licked it before snuggling back into her comfortable ball to sleep.

Al's hand reacted to Snowball's heat and gently caressed unconscious fingers through her fur.

Edward smiled. Sighing with relief, he left his brother to sleep silently with Snowball at his side. Ed took one last glance at the pair before shutting the door and leaving them both in darkness.

* * *

><p><em><strong>If you are reading up to this point then thank you very much. I'd like to thank the following people for reviewing the fourth chapter and for speaking their mind about the shootout:<strong>_

**Beaniek4****  
><strong>

**Thelastunicorn  
><strong>

**FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom**

**Sushi Hawkeye****  
><strong>

**NewSandy**

**Nny****  
><strong>

**Kok0roxGuardian****  
><strong>

**InfiniteAnimeHolic****  
><strong>

**8fangirl8**

**DoctorWhotaliaandtheOlympian**

**Kynater**

**WeirdCornChip**

**Jess**

**Finepineapples**

**_I dedicated this chapter to all of you who may and may not wanted to speak out, but cared for the people of not only this shootout, but others as well. From me to you, I pray you all have awesome and extraordinary lives and good fortune. Thank you~ _**


	6. Chapter 6: Sickness and Plagues

**Warning: Short chapter ~_~ well... at least I didn't wait a month... still sorry though. **

* * *

><p>A cough creaked through the Elric household.<p>

Edward blinked rapidly at the sound. He was only a minute away from falling completely asleep. How unfortunate, he had been trying for the past six hours to make himself relax enough to doze off. Laying – more like scrambling around – on the couch like toddler high off of sugar. No matter what Edward tried he could not force himself to sleep.

The cough echoed against the walls and peeled away the exhaustion Edward had been once feeling. His brother was awake, that was good.

As a shadow presented itself to Edward, he noticed the hunch it was carrying. The figure was trembling even through the dark spectral of lights; Edward could see this too clearly. Al was much sicker than Edward had originally thought. The coughs only became louder and thicker, raging in Edward's ears like Roy's insults.

Al came into full view from around the corner with his eyes glued to the floor. With his hand clenched painfully around his stomach. With his clothes drenched in sweat sticking to his clammy and pale skin. With his hair tossed around and born wild. With each step he took, his body creaked in protest against the movement.

Edward was immediately under his brother.

He shoved himself underneath Al's frail arm and pushed him up, half carrying and half supporting his sick younger brother. Al leaned on Edward's shoulder, his forehead pressed lazily yet hard on the nape of his neck. Edward carefully began to walk but only took baby steps. He wanted to keep his brother on his feet, but didn't want to exhaust him any more than he was right now.

As Edward guided Al to the couch, he began moaning. Edward looked down at his brother and tried to get a good view of his face but all Edward could see was Al's lips. His colorless trembling lips. That wasn't right. Lips were supposed to be red and full of life. _Al's_ lips were supposed to be full of life like himself. They needed to be moving not trembling; they _needed _to be telling Edward to stop harassing Snowball, to tell him to get to work on time, to taunt him about his faults…

Not to make sounds of pain.

No. Not Al.

Never. Al.

As Edward laid Al carefully down on the couch, he felt him shudder and shake inside of his embrace. Edward gulped. He looked closer at Al and sighed woefully. A sheet of sweat masked the majority of Al's face and his skin was a near deathly pale.

Edward didn't need to think about what he needed to do next. He ran over to the home phone and immediately began dialing for a doctor. Edward's words flew out of his mouth the second he heard a voice from the other end. The voice asked him multiple questions – too many damn questions – but Edward complied with every one of them. Symptoms? Dilation? What the hell? A doctor should be answering this. Not Edward. No, a doctor should be over here _right now and _by Al's side. Treating him, helping him.

But Edward did not falter. He couldn't hear his voice completely but he knew it was working. And that's all he needed.

Edward didn't know exactly how long he was on the phone. He didn't realize the layer of sweat that leaked – not as much as Al's – from his pores. Edward didn't even care that he could feel his own heart drum erratically in his chest, shaking his ribcage and thundering for breath in his body. The alchemist frantically spoke, barely taking a breath between each of his words before he heard what he wanted, no, _desired _to hear.

"We'll send a doctor there right away, Mr. Elric."

Edward breathed.

"Keep a towel soaked in cold water on your bother's forehead. If possible, you need to cover him in ice and take off any tight clothes he has on his body. Make sure he stays awake as well."

"Why?" Edward hollowly asked. The word slipped out before he could take it back.

After all, Edward was not an idiot. Oh no, far from it.

He knew the answer before the voice could reach him.

"Because, Mr. Elric, your brother has leptospirosis and if he falls asleep in the condition you have specified to me, then he _will_ slip into cardiac arrest, his heart _will_ fail and there will be _no _awakening from that."

Okay, Edward didn't know _all _of that…

But he could've gone on without it….

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><p><strong>Till next time, eh :3<strong>


	7. Chapter 7: Short Temper

**A little announcement to make, the plot of this story is being changed. There is no experimental drug but instead... well... I'm not at liberty to say less I spoil you readers even more :) the summary is plenty but here's a little extra: **

**"Man is not truly one, but two." Edward is no exception to the rule. He was always so complex. So isolated and cold. Always raising his guard so no one could enter him. No one really could figure him out, not even Al. However, Ed's going to have to find the pieces of his mind and put himself back together before times runs out for not just him... but those who love him as well. But he can't do it alone... not this time. **

**DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUN!**

**I suck at writing summaries... **

* * *

><p>The doctor had arrived fifteen minutes after Edward hung up the phone. By that time, Al had started to gag and regurgitate onto the carpet – now replaced by a bucket – and Ed had been told to go into another room for the examination the doctor was performing.<p>

Now, exactly ten minutes later, Edward sat in his study room in his old crooked chair that he never bothered to fix. The creaking sounds the wooden recliner made scratched the back of Ed's brain. The endless _screech screech _yanking irritably at his ears but Edward did not mind and nor did he have the tolerance at the moment to care.

His brother was in their living room retching his guts out and making sounds that reminded Edward of… no. The older Elric narrowed his eyes and lowered his chin into his entwined fingers.

_Screech. Screech…_

Edward refused to think of **that** on this night. Although, Ed could still hear ever so horribly clearly Al's distinct and grim moans… the same agony torn howls that **thing **made on **that **night.

Thankfully, a knock on his door snatched Edward from out of his grim thoughts. "Come in," he solely said.

The creaked open, the knob slammed against the wall as the doctor walked in with a heavy look on his face. "Sorry," he said.

Ed's heart clenched in his chest. It took him a minute to realize that the doctor was apologizing about the wall and not about… something much worse. "It's no problem," Edward said quickly. He looked over the doctor's messy red hair and half-cocked white coat with little interest. This man looked irresponsible. Completely incapable – if not imbecilic – of taking well care of Alphonse.

Edward scrunched his nose in disgust but remained careful of showing what he really felt about this "doctor of medicine". Ed could even see specks of red on his coat collar. Surely that mess was not from Al's regurgitation, unless Al can spit in a near perfect lip-shaped masterpiece.

"How's my brother?" Ed asked with real concern in his voice.

The doctor rubbed his forehead with his sleeve. Ill-mannered ignoramus. "Well, Mr. Elric, I can tell you first hand that your brother does not have leptospirosis, so… you can sleep well tonight." He ended with a smile. Cocky bastard.

"He doesn't?" Ed repeated the words for his own relief.

"No. But he does have the symptoms of leptospirosis. However, on your bother's health, if I had to take a guess–"

A **guess**? On Al's well being? Arrogant son of a bitch. Edward felt his blood fume and boil from within.

"- he was severely close to entering into the first stage of leptospirosis. He showed all the symptoms but if not for you finding him when you did…" the doctor trailed off and looked at his hands for a second. Edward's eye twitched in irritation. _Look at me, you bastard. Look at me._

"Well! Onto the good news, your brother will be fine. He just needs to rest for a couple of days – if not a week or two – to get back to his old self. I take it you are old enough to take care of him."

"Of _course _I am." Edward hissed a little to harshly.

The doctor took no notice to Ed's tone and grinned even larger. Though, he still gazed at his hands, twiddling with them like a _fucking _child. "Anyways, to make this clear to you, Alphonse will need to be taken care of. Just the essential cares in life however. You will need to watch him to make sure he's sleeping soundly and safely. Watch him for any signs of a relapse into his current symptoms. Make sure he's taking the meds I will momentarily prescribe to him, and, this goes without saying, you will need to cook for him."

"Cook?" Ed noticed a sudden serious tone in the doctor's voice. "I've been making both of our meals for the past week. I _know_ how to cook perfectly." _Look at me, you fucking bastard. _

"Yes, well. I need you to cook light meals for him. Alphonse's stomach will be extremely sensitive for the next week, anything… too tough – such as steak, fries, pies – will no doubt have you having to clean the carpet once a day."

"So what do I make him?"

_Look. At. Me._

"I'll make a list for the dos and don'ts of the meals you will need to cook. But starting tonight, I need you to make him… specifically something low and light… stew. No meat in it. And no heavy-duty vegetables. Also-"

"_Look at me_…"

The doctor stopped. "Pardon?"

"I said 'look at me'. Right. Now. It's very discourteous of you to be playing with your fingers while you're explaining the details of _my _brother's health." Edward snarled, his teeth clenched tight and lips curled back.

"Oh, right. I apologize." He looked at Ed now. That's how it should be. His attention – his focus – only on Edward. "Anyways, allow me to explain to you the steps you must now take to keep your brother in shape."

Ed felt his eyebrows rise as he leaned back in his chair.

_Creak… creak…!_

"Start from the beginning."

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, Ed was escorting the young doctor outside the house. However, as soon as the doctor was right over the doorway, he looked back at Edward and stated, "My sincerest apologies, Mr. Elric. When I thought you weren't qualified to take care of Alphonse, I just considered that you were too young. Your height seems to be a bit off the average scale of a regular-" the doctor glanced down at his chart for a moment "-20 year old male. I do apolo-"<p>

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT I CAN BE USED AS A GAME OF _OPERATION_ FOR YOU TO PLAY AROUND WITH!" Ed fumed furiously. His blood surged into his face and turned his skin near wine red.

The doctor was taken back. "I didn't say that, Mr. Elric. All I inquired was that your height is not normal for-"

"WHO'S SO MICROSCOPIC THAT I CAN'T GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE BECAUSE THE LICENSORS WONT BELIEVE MY AGE BECAUSE OF MY FREAKING HEIGHT!"

"Well you sure had me fooled…" The doctor chuckled nervously. "But I'm still not saying you're tiny or-"

"WHO'S SO MUCH OF A RUNT THAT THIS DAMNED FELINE FROM HELL IS TALLER THAN ME!"

The doctor looked down at the snow-white kitten staring up at him near Ed's feet.

_Mew… _Snowball smiled.

"Well that's not physically possible." The doctor mused.

Edward huffed. "Damn straight."

"But your height is still very abnorm-"

"GET THE HELL OFF MY PROPERTY."

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><p><strong>XD Nothing more to say.<strong>


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